I Make My Own Crazy

Week 2 of The Artist's Way for Beaders (TAWFB) has been about recovering a sense of identity and one of the topics has been about identifying and dealing with "poisonous playmates" and "crazy makers."  The first 2 times I worked through TAW I successfully dealt with all those nasty Negative Nellies, or so I thought.  Now, here I am doing this a third time and I find that I am, as the saying goes, my own worst enemy.

I make myself crazy with all my self doubts and self defeating attitudes.  I thought I had laid all those horrible beasts to rest, but that's not the case.  Just like a bunch of zombies in a Z-grade horror movie they have crawled up from the depths, but instead of calling out for "Brains!  Brains!" they're sucking away at my self-esteem.

At this point I have no idea as to how to effectively deal with this.  How does one go about eliminating one's own army of Self Defeatist Zombies?  Baby steps of taking out one useless walking corpse of self doubt at a time, or just shred the whole bunch in one big explosion?  Is it ever possible to eliminate them all?

Either way, it's something I need to work on and I'm open for suggestions.

Two other tasks for this week were to make a list of 20 things I enjoy doing and a list of 10 things I would like to;  I'll give you 5 of each:

I enjoy:
1.  Word puzzles
2.  Jigsaw puzzles
3.  Hiking
4.  Biking
5.  Rock climbing

I would like to:
1.  Repaint my yoga/beading/dance room
2.  Collect antique tea cups
3.  Visit France
4.  Dye my hair purple and get a new hair cut
5.  Go on a retreat:  yoga, belly dancing, beading, writing;  any of these would do nicely