A Creative Confession

I have a confession to make, but before I do I would like to say a big "Thank you!" to Karen Williams at Baublicious and Mandi Ainsworth at Bead Circle for creating the "Choose Your Own Adventure Freeform Peyote Challenge and Blog Hop."

This isn't the first bead challenge that I've entered, but it the first one that I have actually completed.  I know that sounds strange, especially since I've been beading for so long and have had my work published in books and magazines since 1998.  But there it is:  something I've been secretly embarrassed about for a long time.

Every time I've ever signed up for a beading challenge my brain, my muse, my creativity, all of it, just shut down, and after an number of false starts I would drop out, drown my sorrow in chocolate and ice cream, and secretly be depressed about my failure.

The problem has always been with a spiteful creature I call "The Anti-Muse," the inner critic that takes over and starts hurtling all sort of abuse and insults at me until I give up and the little jerk wins.

There is an unfortunately predictable pattern here:  first comes the excitement and the brainstorming as I mentally bead up several projects that I think I want to try; then, after selecting the one fabulous project that is going to astonish and amaze everyone, and pulling all my materials together I sit down to start making my masterpiece, and...

...nothing.  Nothing except The Anti-Muse and a brain that has been wiped clean.

But this time something was just a tiny bit different.  

One of the questions the ill-natured Anti-Muse asked me was just exactly why I needed another over the top piece of beaded jewelry that I would never have the opportunity to wear.  "You are, after all," she sneered "only a schlub, a stay-at-home mom and chauffeur." At that point I was ready to quit.  But before I did I rummaged around in my bead closet until I came upon a box of wooden eggs...

And for now, this is where my confession ends.

Tomorrow is when myself and the other 32 participants are allowed to reveal our challenge pieces so you'll have to wait until then to see some pictures of what I've been working on in all shades of greens, golds, purples, and violets.  I get up and leave the house fairly early on Saturday mornings so it will be late afternoon before I have chance to post them.