For today's "Belly Dance Monday" post I was going to review a DVD, but I decided to postpone that after reading what Marcia DeCoster's wrote in her blog over the weekend. Here is an excerpt: (To read the entire post click here.)
I also get anxious when I see a colleagues work and I feel that feeling that Rachel has coined so well as project envy (Speaking of whom, have you seen You and Eye? Awesomely beautiful). It happens, you're in awe of what someone else did with the beads and begin to question your own work and then I step back and realize that is what they are meant to be doing and I am doing what I am meant to be doing. Don't get me wrong, I celebrate what my colleagues are doing, there is so much incredible beadwork being done, so much pushing the limits and exploration and creativity. And I celebrate being a part of that world.
The timing of Marcia's post is absolutely perfect. Over the weekend I watched a DVD (not the one I was going to review) that left me with belly dance envy and I can relate to what she is saying.
I find this to be refreshingly honest because Marcia is an incredibly talented bead & fiber artist. I've run into a few artists, be they dancers, beaders, or otherwise, who wouldn't ever dare to admit to having moments of self-doubt. That's much too human and, or course, true talent never doubts itself.
Hogwash, balderdash, and just plain ol' bullshit!
I think true talent does question itself. If you don't occasionally question yourself then how can you possibly grow as an artist? No growth=stagnation. I find stagnation to be appalling.
I'll climb off my soap box now before I stray too far off the subject......
Like Marcia, I sometimes find myself so in awe of another person's work, or in this case dancing, that I start to question & compare myself.
"Why can't I move like Ava or dance like Helena?"
Being one of the heavier dancers in class there are times when I wish I was thinner. Or was taller so that I would be able to carry my weight better. Sometimes I wish my breasts were smaller & my hips were bigger. Yeah, I know. Most women are the opposite and wish for smaller hips & larger breasts. Go figure.
So.... in class tonight if that niggling little voice of mine begins to lead me down the road to self-doubt I will silently, gently, & lovingly chant either one of these two mantras that was taught to me a few years ago by a fellow belly dancer & yoga instructor.
"In this moment I am at my most perfect."
"Beautiful, bountiful, blissful am I."
Or perhaps my own mantra, which is:
Tadasana is Mountain Pose and for those of you who aren't practitioners of yoga, what I mean by that is to find your own place of balance and strength. It's not as poetic as the first two mantras, but it works for me.
I celebrate the fact that I am in both the belly dance and the bead worlds.
And yes, I do occasionally experience bead envy.